Top Ten Things You Should Know Before Entering Middle Earth - Important Information for the Middle Earth Traveler

10. A wizard's robes are NOT his pajamas.
9. If a tree can talk to you, it's best not to pee on it.
8. Don't ask the elves about Santa.... They WON'T be amused.
7. Half-grown hobbits are NOT called 'quarterlings'.
6. You don't wanna know why dwarves keep their beards so long.
5. If a troll acts slow and stupid, don't worry, it's not a trick.
4. Urak-hai juice is NO relation to orange juice (just trust me on this one... okay?)
3. Galadriel is not Miss Cleo.
2. Don't say anything ambiguous to Gandalf
1. Never ask a hobbit to explain their family tree (It would probably just go over your head anyway.).
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