Things LOTR Characters would NEVER say - Humorus phrases based on the book and movie.

This is only the 1st of several other submissions. There are over 40 phrases so far, so here's 20 to get started. After this, the phrases will appear in probably groups of 10 at a time. And don't worry about me running out of comments any time soon: I come up with more daily!

1. Gollum: Stupid Precious!

2. Frodo: OK! Whose idea was it to go barefoot?!?

3. Gandalf: (in mines of Moria) Hey! Did anyone bring any marshmallows?

4. Strider: Just when I thought I could be with Arwen, everyone gets bent out of shape over a ring!

5. Gimli: My axe is sharper than your sword. Na-na-na-na-boo-boo!

6. Sauron: Didn't you read the "no return" policy?

7. Gandalf: It's not fair! Gimli gets an axe, Legolas gets a bow, and everyone else has a sword. What do I get? A staff!

8. Sauron: You break it, you buy it!

9. Elrond: I need a vacation!

10. Balrog: Ooh! Heart burn!

11. Elrond: I'm getting too old for this!

12. Arwen: Hey, I look good for my age!

13. Nazgûl: (on winged horse) Did I mention I was afraid of heights?

14. Bilbo: I didn't go through all that trouble with Gollum just so you could run out and destroy my ring!

15. Frodo: Are you sure that map's reliable?

16. Boromir: (after battle on Amon Hen)I'll be feeling this in the morning!

17. Sam: What is it, Bill? Frodo and Pippin fell in a well, and Merry forgot his rope? Lead the way!

18. Frodo: (after being stabbed by Morgul-knife) Now THAT'S a splinter!

19. Pippin: I'm not hungry today.

20. Merry: You know, I was just kidding when I said I'd go with Frodo!

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