The Precious - Gollum raps his favorite subject... by Maermanadh Fundil, based on a song by Mungo Loamsdown

This song is based on "The Precious" by Mungo Loamsdown. That song was, ahem, incompetent
(The nasty hobbitses, they stole it from us,
then the orcses, they takes us to Barad-Dur and tortures us and runs us over with a speeding bus
What does we want? The Precious!
That kind of thing). No offense Mungo. But, here, for your hysteric admiration, here is the revamped, rhyming version.

INTRO:

(Coughed, as in movie) Gollum, Gollum! Gollum, Gollum, Gollum! Oh yeah!

Verse 1:
Oh we finds it, my precious, we gets it to us,
It's our birthday-present, it is.
But our friendses, he makes such a great big fuss,
But really it's none of his biz.

Oh the nasty hobbitses, they stole it from us,
They cheatses, they're tricksy, they're false.
Theivey Baggins, we hates it forever because
They steals our precious from us!

CHORUS:

What has it got in its pock-ets-es?
The Precious! Gollum, Gollum, the Precious! Oh yes!
What does the nasty orcses says?
The Precious! Gollum, Gollum, the Precious! Oh yes!
They comes with swordses, they comes with knives,
They wants the Precious, they wants our lives!
What does they wants? The Precious! The Precious!
The Precious, gollum, gollum, the Precious, oh yes!

INTRO

Verse 2:
We wants, it, always, we wants it, the Ring
That the evil Dark Lord lookses for,
But hobbitses haves it, with taters and things,
And they'se taking it into Mordor!

We comes, yes, we follows, we shows them the way,
In nastiful light of the sky,
And we gets bitsy closer a bit every day,
To the nasty and vigilous Eye!

CHORUS:

What has it got in its pock-ets-es?
The Precious! Gollum, Gollum, the Precious! Oh yes!
What does the nasty orcses says?
The Precious! Gollum, Gollum, the Precious! Oh yes!
Someday we will get it, we goes with the flow,
For once it gets a hold of us, it never lets go!
What does we wants? The Precious! The Precious!
The Precious, gollum, gollum, the Precious, oh yes!

BRIDGE:

Always we wants it, we tries to be snatching!
But his nasty Eye, precious, always it's watching!
He's always looking, he always tries,
And he's always tricksy with nasty lies!
He sends out orcses, and other things,
Wargses, and Urukses, and wraiths on wings,
He's always reaching, and soon he'll grab it -
But we mustn't let him have it!

INTRO

What has it got in its pock-ets-es?
The Precious! Gollum, Gollum, the Precious! Oh yes!
What does the nasty orcses says?
The Precious! Gollum, Gollum, the Precious! Oh yes!
We travelses always we'll get there soon,
We'se taking the Precious to Mt. Doom,
To the Crackses of Fire in the Orodruin -
What does he wants? The Precious! The Precious!
The Precious, gollum, gollum, the Precious, oh yes!

Add New Comment

Latest Forum Posts

Join the Conversation!