The Night Before Christmas (Middle-earth style) - A dumb, stupid, silly, pointless little poem
Not a creature was stirring, not even in Harad;
The crops were all fastined and packaged with care;
In hopes that no hobbitses would steal them from there.
The hobbits were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of breakfasts danced in their heads;
And the Queen in her gown, and I with my bane,
Had just settled down for my long 120-year reign.
When out in the fields there arose a great chord,
I sprang from Ecthelion and took up my sword.
Away to the Pelennor I flew like a flash,
Tore open the Gates, and made for a dash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Caused me to slip more than I'd show,
When what to my wondering ears should attune,
But the entire Fellowship singing a tune,
With an odd little hobbit, so clever and fairer,
I knew at the moment it must be Frodo the bearer.
More rapid than Eagles his companions they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;
"Now, Legolas! now, Gandalf! now, Pippin and Merry!
On Boromir! on Gimli! on Samwise the Scary!"
To the top of the notes! To the chorus of the song!
Louder now! louder now! Sing loud of it all!
I grinned and was soon singing along
To the notes of this new wonderful song.
I turned to my side and what should I see?
A beautiful she-elf whose heart filled with glee!
Her beauty was fairer than all of the gold.
I knew from her look that she could not be cold.
The singing soon died as the song came to an end.
By the smiles on their faces, I knew I had friends.
This was the most wonderful gift I could ever receive;
Had they not been there, I would deffinately grieve.
I invited them inside for some cocoa and cake
Though some wanted more than what Arwen could make.
By the end of the night, we were all weary and tired
But leaving Ecthelion, none did desire.
And so I gave leave for them all to remain
For the night in my halls with the other Dunedain.
With the last blow from my pipe, I turned out the lights.
Said: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"