The New Student - Humour
It was a peacful, summer morning, the time when school had just began that day. . .
Teacher:Good morning class!
Class: Good morning teacher.
Teacher: Now, today we have a new student with us. Please come in.
(new student enters)
Teacher: Class, please welcome our new student, Gimli.
Class: Hi Gimli.
Teacher: Why don't you take a seat, then we can begin our day.
(Gimli sits. Teacher starts teaching)
Gimli: (To student) So, fellow student, what's it like here?
Student: Uh, I dunno.
Gimli: (Stands up) ANSWER YOU RUFFIAN!!!!!!!!
Student: Uh- Uh I guess it's okay. Mr.-Mr. Gimli sir.
Gimli: That's better.(Sits)
Teacher: Now, who can answer the question on the board? Gimli?
Gimli: Hmmm... That's a tough one.
(Question is one plus one.)
Gimli: The answer is- eleven!
Teacher: OOps! Sorry, that is incorect, Billy? Can you-
(Gimli jumps on teacher's desk, wielding his axe)
Gimli: NO ONE TELLS A DWARF HE'S WRONG! AAAAHHHHHRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!(swings at teacher) NOW YOU MUST TASTE THE WRATH OF MY AXE!!!!!
Teacher: (ducks) Oh my! Gimli! You must go straight to the principal's office. I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour in my classroom!
(Teacher points a finger, Gimli goes, muttering to himself)
(At office. Gimli goes up to the reception desk)
Gimli: Excuse me? I am Gimli the dwarf. I have come to speak to the head of your council, someone by the name of- "principal"?
Secretary: Yeah okay. (She presses a button) Yeah, boss? There's another one to see ya. (She whispers)Yeah, this ones real cracked. Okay, I'll send him in. (She points to a door)
He'll see ya now.
Gimli: Thanks.( he goes in) Hello, I was sent here by my teacher. I was told I had been "untolerable".
Principal: (stares at him for a moment) Halloween is it Gimli?
Principal: Gimli, is this a cry for attention?
Gimli: I don't know what you're talking about.
Principal: Oh, Gimli. I see this all the time. Do you get much attention from your family back home?
(Gimli stared at him with a confused look)
Gimli: I'm sorry my lord, but I have not the slightest idea of what you mean.
Principal: Oh, I see. Your one of those "Lorf of the Rings" fans. Want to be just like that dwarfy guy Gimli eh?
Gimli: I AM THAT DWARFY- I mean I AM GIMLI!!!!!
Principal: Sure you are.
Gimli: I am afraid if you do not agree, you must answer to my axe.
(he begins to take it out, points it sraight at principal)
Principal: Now, now. I know you think this axe is real, but-(takes axe, which is extremely heavy for him)Ohmf! Uh- yes, you see? It's-just-pre-pretend. See?( waves, and is pulled down by it's weight.) Ugh, my, heavy plastic these days. Very authentic though.
Gimli: UNHAND MY WEAPON FIEND!!!!
(Grab's it back)
Gimli: (points it at principal again) You will leave this land, and not return ever again!
Principal: Would you like to go home? I think you need to lie down.
(Gimli fumes, Runs at window. Smashed it with axe and jumps out)
Principal: Hmm, What a troubled boy.
(Gimli runs back to the fellowship, who are having a staring contest between Legolas and Frodo.)
Aragorn: Hey Gimli! How was school!
Gimli: Oh, just horrible. So many ruffians!
Gandalf: Really? I thought schools were quite the opposite.
Gimli: Not this one. Even their Lord's nutzo.
Pippin: Well, I guess if school doesn't work out, you can always sign up for the national bowling leauge.
Fred FlintstoneWho has his fingers stuck in a bowling ball's holes) WILMA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gimli: Yes, I suppose you're right.Who's winning?
Frodo+Lego: I AM!!
(Frodo and Legolas stare at eachother hard, fellowship starts counting down, huddling around them)
All: TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN!
(sweat puring off of Frodo+Lego)
All: SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! ZERO!!!!
( Out of confusion, Legolas blinks forst)
Frodo: Ha! In your face elf! Whoo! Hoo! C'mon guys, lets go celebrate at Mcdonalds!
Aragorn: Sorry you lost dude.
Gimli: Yeah, (tries to hide laughter) hee- sorry.