The New Student - Humour


It was a peacful, summer morning, the time when school had just began that day. . .

Teacher:Good morning class!

Class: Good morning teacher.

Teacher: Now, today we have a new student with us. Please come in.

(new student enters)

Teacher: Class, please welcome our new student, Gimli.

Class: Hi Gimli.

Gimli: Hello.

Teacher: Why don't you take a seat, then we can begin our day.

(Gimli sits. Teacher starts teaching)

Gimli: (To student) So, fellow student, what's it like here?

Student: Uh, I dunno.

Gimli: (Stands up) ANSWER YOU RUFFIAN!!!!!!!!

(Student cowers)

Student: Uh- Uh I guess it's okay. Mr.-Mr. Gimli sir.

Gimli: That's better.(Sits)

Teacher: Now, who can answer the question on the board? Gimli?

Gimli: Hmmm... That's a tough one.

(Question is one plus one.)

Gimli: The answer is- eleven!

Teacher: OOps! Sorry, that is incorect, Billy? Can you-

(Gimli jumps on teacher's desk, wielding his axe)

Gimli: NO ONE TELLS A DWARF HE'S WRONG! AAAAHHHHHRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!(swings at teacher) NOW YOU MUST TASTE THE WRATH OF MY AXE!!!!!

Teacher: (ducks) Oh my! Gimli! You must go straight to the principal's office. I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour in my classroom!

(Teacher points a finger, Gimli goes, muttering to himself)

(At office. Gimli goes up to the reception desk)

Gimli: Excuse me? I am Gimli the dwarf. I have come to speak to the head of your council, someone by the name of- "principal"?

Secretary: Yeah okay. (She presses a button) Yeah, boss? There's another one to see ya. (She whispers)Yeah, this ones real cracked. Okay, I'll send him in. (She points to a door)
He'll see ya now.

Gimli: Thanks.( he goes in) Hello, I was sent here by my teacher. I was told I had been "untolerable".

Principal: (stares at him for a moment) Halloween is it Gimli?

Gimli: HalloWhat?

Principal: Gimli, is this a cry for attention?

Gimli: I don't know what you're talking about.

Principal: Oh, Gimli. I see this all the time. Do you get much attention from your family back home?

(Gimli stared at him with a confused look)

Gimli: I'm sorry my lord, but I have not the slightest idea of what you mean.

Principal: Oh, I see. Your one of those "Lorf of the Rings" fans. Want to be just like that dwarfy guy Gimli eh?

Gimli: I AM THAT DWARFY- I mean I AM GIMLI!!!!!

Principal: Sure you are.

Gimli: I am afraid if you do not agree, you must answer to my axe.

(he begins to take it out, points it sraight at principal)

Principal: Now, now. I know you think this axe is real, but-(takes axe, which is extremely heavy for him)Ohmf! Uh- yes, you see? It's-just-pre-pretend. See?( waves, and is pulled down by it's weight.) Ugh, my, heavy plastic these days. Very authentic though.

Gimli: UNHAND MY WEAPON FIEND!!!!

(Grab's it back)

Gimli: (points it at principal again) You will leave this land, and not return ever again!

Principal: Would you like to go home? I think you need to lie down.

(Gimli fumes, Runs at window. Smashed it with axe and jumps out)

Principal: Hmm, What a troubled boy.

(Gimli runs back to the fellowship, who are having a staring contest between Legolas and Frodo.)

Aragorn: Hey Gimli! How was school!

Gimli: Oh, just horrible. So many ruffians!

Gandalf: Really? I thought schools were quite the opposite.

Gimli: Not this one. Even their Lord's nutzo.

Pippin: Well, I guess if school doesn't work out, you can always sign up for the national bowling leauge.

Fred FlintstoneWho has his fingers stuck in a bowling ball's holes) WILMA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gimli: Yes, I suppose you're right.Who's winning?

Frodo+Lego: I AM!!

(Frodo and Legolas stare at eachother hard, fellowship starts counting down, huddling around them)

All: TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN!

(sweat puring off of Frodo+Lego)

All: SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! ZERO!!!!

( Out of confusion, Legolas blinks forst)

Frodo: Ha! In your face elf! Whoo! Hoo! C'mon guys, lets go celebrate at Mcdonalds!

Hobbits: Yeah!

(They go)

Aragorn: Sorry you lost dude.

Gimli: Yeah, (tries to hide laughter) hee- sorry.

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