The Lord of the Socks: The Fellowship of the Sock - The Casino of Isengard & Once Again, Chased By Wraiths

The first scene is very short, so I've tacked a second after. it.


The Casino of Isengard

(We swoop down through the Isengard casino, up to the top of Orthanc where a messenger pigeon flies up. Gandalf catches it and attaches a note to its leg, then lets it go)

(Another sweeping shot back down the side of Orthanc and into the casino: Sorcs are working furiously, making weapons and armor. Others are playing the slots. Saruman arrives with some of his minions, watching the activities. They observe the birth of Lurtz, who promptly strangles the Sorc Overseer)

Once Again, Chased By Wraiths

Sam: Mr. Frodo? He's goin' cold!

Pippin: Is he going to die?

Strider: He's passing into the shadow world--he'll soon become a wraith like them...

(We hear the Zôkgûl screaming nearby)

Pippin: That is so cool. (mutters) Why can't I be a wraith??

Strider: Sam, do you know the athelas plant?

Sam: Athlete's foot?? Um, begging your pardon, sir, but I don't think that's going to help Mr. Frodo any...

Strider: No, no, you fool of a Gamgee! Not athlete's foot! Athelas! Kingsfoil?

Sam: Kingsfoil--ah, it's a weed... And weeds scare me, they have teeth sometimes, and they growl, and--

Strider: Shut up! It may help to slow the poison--now hurry!

(They take off into the woods with their torches to look for it. Aragorn drops his torch amidst the foliage, and, miraculously, nothing burns! He finds some growling weeds and is crouching down to cut off a sprig when we see the point of a sword held to his neck)

Arwen: What's this? A Power Ranger, caught off his guard?

(The weeds bite him)

(Back in the clearing, Frodo sees a bright light and we see Arwen arrive on Asfaloth, looking very, very bright, like she got a glowstick spilled on herself or something. She bends down and talks to Frodo, in Yiddish.)

Galadriel: Banui! It's NOT Yiddish!

Banui: Sorrr-ry! It was funny.

Arwen: ANYway...Frodo, Im Arwen. Telin le thaed.
(Frodo, I am Arwen. I come to help you.)
Frodo, ECHUIO!! (Frodo, WAKE UP!!)

Merry: Who is she?

(there is a sound from Frodo that might be "pencil...pencil..."

Sam: She's an elf...

Arwen: He's fading. He's not going to last. We must get him to my father.

(Aragorn picks up Frodo and carries him to Arwen's dune buggy)

Arwen: I've been looking for you for two days.

Merry: Where are you taking him?

Arwen: There are five wraiths behind you. Where the other four-and-a-half are, I have no idea.

Aragorn: They're probably at the casino in Isengard... Dartho guin Beriain. Naideg le ad tolthathon. (Stay with the sockbits. I'll send dune buggies for you.)

Arwen: Hon mabathon. Rochon ammae im. (I'll take him. I drive better.)

Aragorn: Skooky i ven. (The road is very skooky.)

Pippin: What are they saying? Are they mentioning dinner?

Arwen: Frodo glavrol. Ae athradon i hir, tûr gwaith nîn beriatha hon. (Frodo is babbling. If I get across the river, the power of my people will protect him.) I do not fear them.

Aragorn: Your people or the wraiths? (Arwen rolls her eyes) Okay, fine. Be iest lîn. (According to your wish.) Watch out for those weeds!

Arwen: Labo lim, Asfaloth! Labo lim! (Skip fast, Asfaloth! Skip fast!)

Sam: You NAMED your dune-buggy?!

(Asfaloth zooms off)


Strider: (glares)

Sam: What? What'd I do??

(We see Arwen driving Asfaloth (who is also carrying Frodo), first in the dark, then later in the daylight, zooming across some open lands. Then the Off-White Riders appear and get closer and closer to Arwen. She scoots back and forth in the woods and on the plains, trying to lose them and to get ahead of them)

Arwen: Labo lim, Asfaloth! (Skip fast, Asfaloth!)

(She gets away from them long enough to get to the Ford of the Bruinen first)

(Arwen raises her hair dryer from the far side of the River and the Zôkgûl pause on the other side and raise theirs also)

Zôkgûl: Give up the halfling, she-Elvis.

Arwen: If you want him, come and claim him! I'm NOT Elvis.

(The Zôkgûl start to cross the River and Arwen speaks a [/Yiddish] Elvish invocation)

Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer
Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Tadtobedaer!

Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer:
Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Tadtobedaer!

(Waters of the Hazy Hillocks, listen to the great word:
Flow waters of Loudwater against the Sockwraiths!)

(The water floods up and sweeps the Zôkgûl away. They scream annoyingly. Frodo is gasping and crying out for pencils as Arwen lays him down beside the river.)

Arwen: NO! Frodo! Wake up! I don't have a pencil, now calm down! (scene fades)

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