The Lord of the Socks: The Fellowship of the Sock - A Shortcut to Death Caps
Frodo: What are you talking about? IS THE PEANUT BUTTER EVIL?!?! (wails)
Sam: It's just sumpthin' that Gandalf said: "Don't you lose him, Samwise Gamgee," and I don't mean to.
Frodo: Just as long as the peanut butter isn't evil...but we're still in the Shire--what could possibly happen??
(Pippin and Merry burst out of the corn and bowl over Sam and Frodo)
Pippin: Frodo! Merry, it's Frodo Baggins!
Merry: Hullo, Frodo! (pats Frodo on the head)
Sam: Get off him...What's the meaning of this?
Merry: Hold these (He loads Sam up with stolen explosives)
Sam: You've been into Farmer Maggot's explosives... (looks down at the myriad of bombs in his arms and freaks out) IT'S TICKING!
Farmer Maggot: (ranting offscreen) Hey you, stay outta my garage!
Merry: I don't know why he's so upset, it was only a couple of dynamites
Pippin: ...and some bombs...and those three bags of grenades that we lifted last week...and then the big thingy the week before.
Merry: Yes, Pippin, my point is, he's clearly over-reacting
(they get to the edge of the cliff and stop, until Sam bumps into them, then they all tumble down the cliff)
Pippin: (upside-down) Ooh, that was close...
Merry: I think I've broken something HEY! My punctuation's missing again!
Sam: It's been missing through the whole scene. Trust a Brandybuck and a Took...
Merry: What? That was just a...(grabs thesaurus)...detour, bypass, alternative route, deviation--shortcut. (Ooh, it's back!)
Sam: A shortcut to what?
Pippin: Death caps! (they all rush towards the death caps hungrily)
(After a while, Frodo senses something on the road)
Frodo: I think we should get off the road... (everyone is busy devouring and collecting death caps and ignores him)
(a yodeling sound comes up the road. Frodo grabs a megaphone out of nowhere and yells into it) Get off the road!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quick!!!!!!!!!!!!
(they hide down in some tree roots; the Off-White Rider comes up then gets off his motorcycle and bends down and battles a sinus infection. Bugs crawl randomly out of the woodwork; Frodo is tempted to put on the Sock. Sam stops him, then Merry bravely sacrifices his death caps, tossing them to distract the Off-White Rider, who zooms off to investigate)
Merry: What was that?
Frodo: (looks down at the Sock in his hand and sniffles)