Still in a Christmas Mood! - Carol Parodies from the Burping Troll...singalong!

I found these wonderful Christmas Carol parodies over at The Burping Troll, a truly excellent site for those seeking quality fan fiction based on Lord of the Rings and Tolkien's world. I invite you all to stop by to......

 Just pull up a chair, shout for whatever your favorite poison may be, and join us for tales of our adventures in Middle Earth.

Here are the ongoing collaborative works of a gathering of writers and dreamers, who base our stories from this, our way-station for weary travelers, and jumping off place for many adventures.

Whether you seek danger, drama, laughter, romance or riddles, they are all here.

Though the authors have many dramatic and heart stopping tales to tell, they do have a humorous side too, as demonstrated by these parodies. So if you are still in a Christmas mood, as I am, then by all means...join in and sing along...I've even provided music links to accompany you.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

 

LadyCoralie

 
 
To Heck with Yule
(Tune: Deck the Halls)
By Celebsul
 
To heck with Yule, let's all ignore it
Fa la la la lah, la la la lah
I'm a miserly old hobbit
Fa la la la lah, la la la lah
Don't hold with this festive twaddle
Fal la lah, fal la lah, fal la lah
I'm not sharing my ale barrel
Fa la la la lah, la la la lah
 
Why burn logs without a reason?
Fa la la la lah, la la la lah
It's not cold, it's only freezing
Fa la la la lah, la la la lah
Don't call here, I've got your measure
Fal la lah, fal la lah, fal la lah
Keep your fingers off my treasure
Fa la la la lah, la la la lah
 
I'm not filling plates and glasses
Fa la la la lah, la la la lah
Feeding greedy lads and lasses
Fa la la la lah, la la la lah
All this singing sounds appalling
Fal la lah, fal la lah, fal la lah
CEASE THE ENDLESS CATERWAULING!
Fa la la la  lah Oh Ah
 
 
 
What Inn Is This?
(Tune: What Child is This)
 
Pippin the Elf
 
What inn is this that laughs and jokes
While Meri's food is simmering?
Where elves drink Cherry-B so sweet,
while Wargy's watch is keeping?
 
This, this is The Burping Troll,
Where Wargy guards and Bob patrols.
Haste, haste to fill the mugs,
The mugs of the Burping Troll Pub!
 
Why do the elves play games with orcs
While hobbits gather 'round Wargish feet
Good traveller, don't fear, for Wargy's dear,
And food hobbits will soon be bringing.
 
This, this is The Burping Troll,
Where Wargy guards and Bob patrols.
Haste, haste to fill the mugs,
The mugs of The Burping Troll Pub!
 
So drown your woes and tell your tales,
Come, ancient, young to gather.
The Burping Troll does welcome all, though loving hearts we'd rather.
 
This, this is The Burping Troll,
Where Wargy guards and Bob patrols.
Haste, haste to fill the mugs,
The mugs of The Burping Troll Pub!
 
 

Here We Come Assailing
(Tune: Here We Come A Wassailing)
Pippin the Elf
 
Here we come assailing
Upon your ruddy walls
Here we come a-rumbling
To take over your halls
We've got a list of things to do;
It includes killing you
So that Sauron can take over your homes
And your Middle Earth
So that Sauron can take over your homes.
 
We are not merely killers
That come breaking down your doors
But we are Sauron's children
Whom you've not met before
We've got a list of things to do
It includes killing you
So that Sauron can take over your homes
And your Middle Earth
So that Sauron can take over your homes.
 
Good Master Sauron lets us eat
And lets us set tha fires,
Pray think of us, your dearest foes
Who were born in tha mire.
We have a list of things to do
And it includes killing you
So that Sauron can take over your homes
And your Middle Earth
So that Sauron can take over your homes.
 
We have our spears and swords
And clothing of leather skins
We want some of your blood now
To make us grin within.
We have a list of things to do
And it includes killing you
So that Sauron can take over your homes
And your Middle Earth
So that Sauron can take over your homes.
 
We'll haul you out in misery,
And spread your tall towers low.
So that Daddy Sauron
Will be ever so pleased.
We have a list of things to do
And it includes killing you
So that Sauron can take over your homes
And your Middle Earth
So that Sauron can take over your homes.
 
We'll slay tha master of tha house
Likewise tha mistress too;
And all tha little children
That round tha table run
We have a list of things to do
And it includes killing you
So that Sauron can take over your homes.
And your middle earth
So that Sauron can take over your homes.
 
 
 
Hark!  Nienna Still in Tears
(Tune: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)
Pippin the Elf
 
Hark!  Nienna still in tears
Weeping still through all these years
Her Middle Earth's no longer happy
Nienna's turning really sappy
Joyful all the mortals dance
And to all the bars they prance
But the elf maiden still weeps
Emotional is the name she keeps
Hark! Nienna still in tears
Weeping still through all these years.
 

Good King Aragorn Last Looked Out
(Tune: Good King Wenceslas Looked Out)
Pippin the Elf
 
Good King Aragorn last looked out
On the foes of Mordor
Harbouring no trace of doubt
Anduril he brandished
Cutting throats and hewing heads
Many orcs he vanquished
Till the ring did fall away
Into the hot lava, yay!
 
 
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/trailband3
There Were Three Rings for Elven Kings
(Tune: I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In)
Sevilodorf
 
There were three rings for Elven-kings
In Middle Earth, In Middle Earth;
There were three rings for Elven-kings
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.
 
What was the power of those rings?
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
What was the power of those rings,
In Middle Earth in the Third Age?
 
To heal and stave off weariness,
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
That was the power of the rings,
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.
 
Who were the keepers of the rings?
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
Who were the keepers of the rings?
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.
 
Galadriel and Lord Elrond,
In Middle Earth; in Middle Earth;
Galadriel and Lord Elrond,
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.
 
Held those of Water and of Air,
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
Held those of Water and of Air,
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.
 
And who was the keeper of the Fire?
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
And who was the keeper of the Fire?
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.
 
Gandalf rekindled hearts with it.
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
Gandalf rekindled hearts with it;
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.
 
They sailed west to Valinor,
From Middle Earth, From Middle Earth;
They sailed west to Valinor,
From Middle Earth in the Third Age.
 
 
 

While Rangers Sang
(Tune: While Shepherds Watched)
Naerinda
 
While rangers sang their songs at night
All seated round the fire,
The hobbits danced the springle-ring
Till they began to tire.
 
"Fear not" said Bob for mighty dread
Had seized the hobbits minds,
For a troll came lurking in the dark
A tasty treat to find.
 
The troll was large and mighty fierce
His skin scaly and green
He swung a hammer in his fist
For he was really mean.
 
Bob was brave and full of ale,
His antics made the troll groan,
Then suns first rays shone down on them
And turned the troll to stone.
 
The hobbits cheered and jumped around
"Woohoo you've killed the beast,
Come let us go back to the inn
We must prepare a feast."
 
 
Well I hope you enjoyed these wonderful parodies from our friends at The Burping troll. I know I did. While we're still in the mood for a laugh, I will throw in some Aussie Christmas Carol just for fun!
 
 
 
** Aussie Jingle Bells **

Dashing through the bush
In a rusty Holden Ute
Kicking up the dust
Esky in the boot
Kelpie by my side
Singing Christmas songs
It's summer time and I am in
My singlet, shorts and thongs

Chorus

Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Christmas in Australia
On a scorching summer's day
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Christmas time is beaut
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a rusty Holden Ute

Engines getting hot
Dodge the kangaroos
Swaggy climbs aboard
He is welcome too
All the family is there
Sitting by the pool
Christmas day, the Aussie way
by the barbecue!

Come the afternoon
Grandpa has a doze
The kids and uncle Bruce
Are swimming in their clothes
The time has come round to go
We take a family snap
Then pack the car and all shoot through
Before the washing up

 
 
** We Wish You a Ripper Christmas **

Chorus

We wish you a ripper Christmas
A full-bore ripper Christmas
A dead set ripper Christmas
And a snappy New Year

May the kids have a hoot
May the prezzies be beaut
From the big-bellied fella
In the red and white suit

Send cards through the post
Have a big Christmas roast
Then hitch up the caravan
And shoot down The Coast

Great prezzies we bring
All wrapped up with string
They're not very expensive
But they're interesting

Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
Billy Bunter did a grunter
Flying TAA

With candles alight
And faces so bright
We'll sing lots of carols
Long into the night

We'll hang up the holly
be cheerful and jolly
and fill up our tumtums
with lolly after lolly.

 

** Six White Boomers **

Early on one Christmas Day
A Joey Kangaroo
Was far from his home and lost
In a great big zoo
"Mummy, where's my mummy?
They've taken her away"
"We'll help you find your mummy, son.
Hop up on this sleigh"

Up beside the bag of toys
Little Joey hopped
But they had'nt gone far
When Santa stopped
Unharnessed all the reindeer
And Joey wondered why
Then he heard a far-off
Booming in the sky

Boom, boing, boom, boing, boom, boing, boom, boing

Chorus

Six White Boomers, snow white boomers
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun
Six White Boomers, snow white boomers
On his Australian run

Pretty soon old Santa
Began to feel the heat
Took his fur-lined boots off
To cool his feet
Into one popped Joey
And curled up right away
While those old men kangaroos
Kept pulling on the sleigh

Then Joey said to Santa
"Santa what about the toys?
Aren't you going to give some
To all the girls and boys?"
Well they've had all their presents, sonny
We were here last night
This is an extra special trip
Joey's special flight"

Soon his sleigh was flashing past
Right over Marblebar
"Slow down there", he cried
"It can't be very far
Hop up on my lap here son,
And have a look around"
"There she is there's mummy
Bouncing up and down"

Well that's the bestest Christmas treat
That Joey ever had
Curled up in Mother's pouch
Feeling snug and glad
The last they saw was Santa
Heading t'wards the sun
the only year the boomers
Worked a double run.

And if you want more.......

 

http://site.hindy.id.au/xmas/aussiesongs.html

 

Merry Christmas!

 

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