Star Wars of the Ring - Did you accidentally bring a [I]Star Wars[/I] fanatic to Trilogy Tuesday? Twenty ways to tell...
Your friend might be a disguised Star Wars fan if...
- He doesn't think Gimli is hairy enough to be a sidekick.
- He swears he saw a Jawa in Minas Tirith.
- He refers to Merry and Pippin as 'the Droids' and asks if they're going to have their own spin-off series.
- He complains that Gandalf stole Obi-Wan's move when he heals Pippin.
- He expects Sauron to reveal that he's Aragorn's father and that Arwen is his long-lost twin sister. Aragorn will go on to marry Eowyn at a later date.
- When Frodo and Sam arrive at the Cracks of Doom, he squirms excitedly in his seat and whispers something about a 'lava-pit theory.'
- He thinks Darth Vader's helmet is cooler than Sauron's.
- He thinks Saruman would be much cooler with a neatly trimmed beard.
- He moans "Use the tow cables!" when the Rohirrim charge the Mumakil on the Pelennor.
- He also thinks the Mumakil have been taking makeup lessons from Darth Maul.
- He's certain that the Ring's Black Speech translates to a fast-food order in Huttese.
- When Frodo loses a finger, he sneers, "So what? Luke lost his whole hand and he didn't wuss out!"
- He grumbles that the Ewoks were way cuter than Gollum.
- When Gandalf tells Pippin about Valinor, he can be heard muttering derogatorily, "Hokey religions and ancient weapons..."
- He doesn't think the women's hairstyles are elaborate enough.
- He's also disappointed with the lack of skin bared by any female character (Arwen's nightdress in The Two Towers and her neckline in Return of the King appease him somewhat).
- He thinks the Witchking is the only one with any fashion sense.
- He boasts that a few X-Wings against the Fell Beasts would be "just like shooting womp rats back home."
- He's sure than in the Super Extended Edition of The Two Towers, the Uruks will shoot first.
- "What do you mean this isn't Return of the Jedi?!"
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