Lord of the Rings Sing Along 3! - With six songs connected by LOTR, this is perfect for wooing your favorite Nazgul or understanding female dwarves.

Disclaimer: I do not pretend to own any of the tunes or lyrics to the songs below, nor do I wish to claim that my lyrics are better. I realize the authors' right to their songs, and I'm merely twisting them for others' enjoyment. In addition, I don't own any of the characters remarked on below, understanding them to be purely Tolkien's. I realize and take full blame for the fact that this disclaimer may be longer than the acual songs themselves, and I apologize. No insult is meant to the authors of the original songs by my twisting them, and I hope they won't take it that way. Everybody appeased? *phew*

RING
To the Tune of "LOVE"

R is for ringwraiths you'll have to flee
I is for the only Eye you'll see
N is never knowing happiness again
G is going where lembas'll be your only fare

And

The Ring causes all danger to loom
The Ring you must throw into Mt. Doom
You and Sam can make it
Take this Ring and try to break it
For the Ring I'll send this company

Stormcrow
Sing to the tune of "You Are My Sunshine"
From Wormtongue to Gandalf

You are my Stormcrow
My only Stormcrow
You bring bad tidings
Gandalf the Grey
You'll never know, "dear"
How much I loathe you
So try and keep Mithrandir away

The following two songs are dedicated to Lord Elrond #1

However, this next one is also given to all of you people out there who have heard the real song played in shops way too many times

Oops I Did It Again*
To the Tune of "Oops I Did it Again", performed by Britney Spears

Both: yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Wormtongue:
Here I am again
I swam to you through the Ents' flotsam
Saruman . . .
I just did what you said
But they threw me out on their head
I'll just hiss like a snake
Til you stop this give-and-take
Saruman, wizard

Saruman:
Oops! . . .I did it again
I played with your mind, got lost in the game
Oh, Wormtongue, Wormtongue
Oops! . . .You think I've got charm
Watch me twist your arm
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this
I need the ring
Wishing that Ugluk the hobbits'd bring
I laugh, watching you cringe
Can't you see me get that pleasure twinge?
But to think you're my equal
That is just so typically you
Wormtongue, oh

Wormtongue
Oops! . . .I did it again
I brown-nosed to you, got lost in the game
Saruman, fool
Oops! . . .you think I'm your slave
Your praise I'd sav----or
I want my share of pow'r

Both: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Gandalf: "Let us go."

Wormtongue: "Gandalf, before you go, there's something I want you to have."

Pippin:"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this . . . ?"

Wormtongue:"Yeah, yes it is."

Gandalf:"But I thought this one was dropped into the ocean long ago."

Wormtongue:"Well Gandalf, I went down and got it for you."

Gandalf:"Oh, you shouldn't have . . .give that to me, Pippin."

Wormtongue:
Oops! . . . I dropped your palantir
Lost you as Sauron's ear
Saruman:
Oops? . . .You'll learn to regret that move
I'm not that innocent

Dwarven Fun*
To be Sung to the Tune of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun", performed by Cyndi Lauper, and written by Robert Hazard

I brush my beard in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna hold your pick right
Oh Mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
And girls just want to have fun
Dwarf girls just want to have fun

I don an elf dress--what a sight
My father yells wear your chain mail right
Oh Daddy dear, you know I love armoured clothes
But girls they want to have fun
Dwarf girls just want to have--

That's all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Girls--they want to have fun
Dwarf girls just want to have fun

Some girls take their identity
And make sure the world never knows
I want to be the lass who don't use an axe
Dwarf girls they want to have fun
Dwarf girls just want to have--

That's all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Girls--they want to have fun
Dwarf girls just want to have fun,
They want to have fun,
They want to have fun . . .

*Author's Note: As I didn't have either the CD for these two songs, nor the tunes completely memorized, I just printed the lyrics and listened to the midi over and over and over again until I could sing the original lyrics along with the tune before I twisted the songs. As a result, not all of them may fit exactly with the real tunes, but I think if you stretch and shrink the words it'll work. Thanks for patience.

Gimli Row Your Boat Ashore
To be Sung to the Tune of "Michael Row Your Boat Ashore", by Joan Baez

Gimli row your boat ashore
Hallelujah
Gimli row your boat ashore
Hallelujah

Gimli's boat is an elven boat
Elbereth
Gimli's boat is an elven boat
Gilthoniel

Samwise, help to trim the sail,
Please don't tip us
Samwise, help to trim the sail,
Please don't tip us

The Anduin river is deep and wide
Oh, Great River
Amon Hen's on the other side
Oh, Great River

Rauros Falls is chilly and cold,
Hallelujah
Carries a body, but not a soul
Hallelujah

My Little Ringwraith
To the Tune of "My Little Buttercup", as seen in "The Three Amigos"

My little ringwraith
Has the sweetest scream (aah! aah! aah! aah!)
Dear little ringwraith,
Won't you haunt my dreams?
You and I can settle down,
Minas Morgul's built for ten . . .
So . . .
Dear little ringwraith
Sweet little ringwraith
I love you

AND NOW FOR THE SEVENTH SONG, ABSOLUTELY FREE!

For Smeagol%
To be Sung to the Tune of "One Tin Soldier", by Coven (I think)

Listen children, to a story
That was written long ago
'Bout a hobbit sent to Mordor
And the ring he bravely bore
Samwise was his true companion
Faithful though all seemed lost
While Smeagol followed through hill and canyon
Searching for his precious

Go ahead attack the Ringbearer
Try to take the one away
Say it's cause your precious was stolen
You might justify it that way
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the bitter end
In the heart of Orodruin
Frodo slips on the Ring again

Frodo and Sam trudge wearily
Through marshes dead so long
Smeagol guides them warily
Away from lights bright, rotten
At last they come to the Black Gate,
Dark as stone, somehow red as blood
But new obstacles are created
So they took another road

Go ahead attack the Ringbearer
Try to take the one away
Say it's cause your precious was stolen
You might justify it that way
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the bitter end
In the heart of Orodruin
Frodo slips on the Ring again

By Faramir they were captured
Taken behind
The waterfall
But news of their guide they never offered
To this man noble and tall
Then Gollum was caught catching fishes
Thought that he had been betrayed
So he yielded to blackest wishes
The Ring for master
Was a fair trade

Go ahead attack the Ringbearer
Try to take the one away
Say it's cause your precious was stolen
You might justify it that way
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the bitter end
In the heart of Orodruin
Frodo slips on the Ring again

%Author's Note: If you want to be depressed even more, sing Sam's Song (Songs for the Holidays) right after singing this one.

Some Other Notes:
I'd really appreciate any suggestions you might have. Are these tunes too obscure? Songs you want to see twisted? Subject matter you want addressed? Is the balance between humour and sadness off? Please tell me, we wantsss to pleasse kind readerssss, yesss, even more than we wantsss fissshesss . . .wait.

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