How USA's FOX Television would have produced "LOTR" - How Fate Saves the Faithful

With such trash programming on television these days, what if Peter Jackson's project fell through and was picked up by an unsavory studio such as FOX Television. One writer muses:

Director
Johnny Knoxville "Jackass"

Cast
Emenim................................Frodo
Anna Nicole Smith..................Galadriel
Michael Jackson.....................Saruman The "White"
Terry Bradshaw......................Gandalf
Queen Latifa.........................Arwen
Daman Wayans.....................Gollum
Michael Richards....................Elrond

Cinematography
The crew from "COPS"

Voice Over
Robin Leach

Major Script Change:
"Gollum Tries to Sell Frodo and Samwise Amway Products While Aragorn & Company Settle Their Dispute With Sauron Via Mud Wrestling Buxom Blondes and Leather-Clad Nazi Game-Show Hosts with Whips."

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