DayDreams - Beorn

The fellowship left Rohan many nights ago with two new members along side them: Joe, lad of Gondor, and Eoywn, fair lady of Rohan. From there they visit Saruman's Tower, Orthanc, though perhaps this acquaintance shall be told on a later day. They travel through the wilderness for many sunrises and sunsets, when at length they enter Beorn's Bee Pastures. Large bees, like hornets buzzing about in the air, crawling and rooting in flower heads for pollen.

'If I were to get stung by one of those, I would swell up like... like well like something unnatural, that's fer sure,' Says Sam.

A great wall made of thorns and brackets lay before the fellowship; Gandalf leads them through the broad gate that groans when they push it open. There staring at them with intelligent eyes are two goats, one black as New Moon with a white crest, and the other golden brown, like the grass of the fields, and up its legs creeps black fur, like boots made for hooves. The goats soon sprint away.
A collection of low hanging buildings are all about, and to the far right side of the wall are bee hives with bell shaped tops, where many bees with black and gold stripes wrapping abound their little bodies work franticly to gather the last bits of pollen before the sun falls and the chill of night bites them.

'Who are you? And what do you want?' says a deep rolling voice. The fellowship looks to see a tall man leaning on an axe.

'I am Gandalf the White, and this is the Fellowship sent forth from Rivendell, by lord Elrond.' Gandalf says.

'Gandalf!' Cries the man. 'What have you done with yourself, old buddy! Why, with all that white I could barely recognize you!

'Beorn, my old friend,' Says Gandalf as he extends his long arms to embrace the man. Beorn's shoulders rise high above even Gandalf's; his great arms seem to be able to wrap around Gandalf twice, and his great knotting muscles make for a tight squeeze on an old man.

'My, you've got many friends! A dwarf, eah, ante' had one of those in my house for quite some time, yet I welcome him nonetheless!'

'Gimli son of Gloin, at your service.'

'Please, not that again! I don't need your service, and your names do not matter! If you are a friend of Gandalf the... what color are you now?'

'I am clearly Gandalf the white, come again to finish my work in Middle Earth.'

'Right well, a friend of my white buddy here, is a friend of mine. So come into my home and we shall eat!' Beorn laughs a booming laugh as he struts away to his house. A log house, made with many trees that have clearly been aged by nature. Inside there is a long hall, with a fire burning warm and bright in the center of the floor where the smoke rises and escapes through an opening in the blackened rafters. At the far end of the dark hall is a low table just the right size for the Hobbits. Around it are small wooden chairs that seemed to be cut straight from the base of the tree and pulled up to the table. At the far end, standing broad and black, is a big screen TV, with surround sound and DVD player!
Beorn claps his hands and a small host of animals slips out of the shadows and begins laying out a fine meal of honey, cream and fresh bread. The platters and spoons are all wood, no silver or gold. A pony brings out a platter of many different creams, some fluffy, some like butter. A dog standing on its hind legs brings out the silverware, and close behind him comes the white crested goat with honey and plates. A sheep turns on the TV and begins the scan of the channels, and another lays the TV guide in front of Beorn's seat at the head of the table.
The fellowship is seated and served like guests of royalty from Gondor. Beorn chuckles and slaps his hands on the table.
'You, young lad, tell me, what brings you into this company? You look of odd kind; certainly not a kind that Gandalf would see fit to have beside him.'

'I am Joe of Gondor, son of Joe. I met this fine company in Rohan, and we grew a fondness for one another. I have already proven my courage at Isengard when I met Saruman.'

'Is that so? Well, perhaps you may be odd, but you are a strong looking lad at least. Now then, tell me your tales up until this visit. An interesting tale I should hope!' growls Beorn.

'Yes, quite exciting indeed!' says Gandalf. And so the tale was told to Beorn, and he found it worth listening too, however he thought it was not to compare to N.Y.P.D Blue.
The sun set gorgeously in red flares through the great window standing behind the big screen TV, and ever so gradually shadows began to creep into the hall; and like a long hand of darkness it bound the house, though the great fire in the center of the room brightly shone an orange glow from wooden wall to wooden wall.

Beorn now at this time begins to search for a show on his satellite, which looks to the west, catching the last remnants of light in Middle Earth on its shining gray surface.
The Hobbits gather together and sit on feather pillows with their noses three inches from the screen. Boromir and Aragorn kick back on the log seats and chat, while Gandalf and Beorn sit side by side at the table's head. The lad and lady sit together on the couch; Eoywn's golden hair rolls from her head and sits lightly in the lad's lap, and her arm is holding his in a firm grasp.
For nearly ten minutes Aragorn and Boromir have been insisting on watching the football game, though the fellowship soon ends this! The channels are flipped many times over; channel 400 has come and went three times already, and now the company is growing inpatient. In this great quest for something to watch, the fellowship sees many things that interested them. Sam (and only Sam) wants HGTV, the gardening channel, though he does not achieve his wishes, for he very rarely does. Pippin and Merry want Nickelodeon, for the gallant and ever so brave, Sponge Bob was protecting his village from jellyfish; though Beorn will not have any of this nonsense in his home. For an odd, and still unknown resin, Beorn has stopped many times on infomercials, such as BO-flex, George Forman Cooker, and the revolutionary pancake flipper. In the hours of late a feud came about the fellowship, and not a decision could be made on what to watch.

'How about Sponge Bob?' says Pippin.

'NO!' cries the fellowship.

'What's the weather for tomorrow?' asks a voice that none know who spoke it, some believe it was a goat.

'Go back to the game!' says Aragorn.

'I want to see how to plant a tulip!' says Sam in a low voice below all the others.

'Sponge Bob!' cries Merry.

'NO!!' says all the voices in the room.

'I want to watch Days of our Lives.' Says Eoywn.

'Oh God No! Not a soap!' says a voice.

'Sponge Bob!'


'The Game!'

'You see Mr. Frodo, I told you they should of made us into a story.' Says Sam as they watch the end of a Two Towers preview.

'Oprah!' says a sheep.

'Wait! Wait! I want to see this Paper that cannot burn!' says Beorn. '
that is great! And only 19.95.' plus a 33.00 shipping fee for five sheets.

'What about Bob?'


'Not Sponge Bob. Bob Barker, The Price is Right!' says Gandalf. 'Plinko!'

'Bay Watch!!!'

'Doctor Fill!'

'Oh- My-god! I can't believe Christen just hooked up with Bobby!!' says Eowyn. 'Turn back to that!'

'Hey wait! I like that commercial!' says Frodo.


'Andy Griffith is on! That's the episode where Ant May sells all those pies and-'


'What's on Discover?'


'Hey wait!'

'A remote control Iron! What genius!'


The night ended with many frustrations and disappointments. The lady was quite upset by Christen's move on Bobby, so the Lad had to comfort her. Aragorn and Boromir's home team lost the game 2 to 145, and Gandalf never saw the end of Plinko. As the stars outside began to glisten with the fog of the cold night, the fellowship, at the end, watched Sponge Bob Square pants until they all retired to bed. At dawn the fellowship left the house and over the mountains with a fresh burden of supplies upon a white pony.

Perhaps this meeting is not significant in the tales of this Lad of Gondor, though the Lad enjoyed this night, and thought it worth telling.

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