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The Diary of the Dark Lord
April 19, 2007
Submitted By Lady Elwen
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The mouth of Sauron is annoying me again. He keeps playing Twenty Questions. Curses. Being a big eye is really unpleasant.
Sincerely,
The annoyed and ever-so-slightly bored Dark Lord
Sauron’s diary entry:
Dang it! I just can’t get enough flipping eye drops out of these little containers!!! Do you know what it’s like to be a great eye, wreathed in flame?!!! DO YOU?!!!!
Sincerely,
The very ticked off Dark Lord
Sauron’s diary entry:
At about five am, I started wondering why the Ringwraiths haven’t gotten back home yet. I mean, they ARE the ruling lords of scariness and all. Can a simple mission to find a plucky hobbit be THAT difficult? It is now three pm, and still no answer has come to me.
Sincerely,
The confused Dark Lord
Sauron’s diary entry:
Have a strange feeling that I should put more guards around Mount Doom to make sure no one takes my ring in there and destroys it… Ah, the feeling is past. Stupid gift of foresight anyway.
Sincerely,
The normal feeling Dark Lord
Sauron’s diary entry:
Dear diary: Do you think that being a giant eye is a turn off? I’m only asking because today I winked at this orc chick today and she just sort of made a face at me and walked away…
Sincerely,
The rejected and slightly offended Dark Lord
Sauron’s diary entry:
Found out today that Ringwraiths can’t swim.
Sincerely,
The thoroughly exasperated Dark Lord
Sauron’s diary entry:
I got really bored today and resorted to mumbling at a stupid, lost looking hobbit in Rivendell. It always cracks me up when they look and scared and stuff.
Sincerely,
The highly amused Dark Lord
TO BE CONTINUED...
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... 6 Comments
:D
Comment by Kiriwana - April 20, 2007 @ 3:27 AM
Oh my goodness!
That is so hilarious! Thanks for posting those. :)
Nim
Comment by Nimhiril - April 20, 2007 @ 8:46 PM
funnny!!
Souro should do standup comedy!!
Kay
Comment by Lord Kayasin - May 5, 2007 @ 6:46 AM
HAHA!! that was funny, actually started to like the guy...poor misunderstood evil villains!
Comment by Lanzy - August 30, 2007 @ 8:26 AM
poor sauron! looking at the chicks. no chance, poor guy
Comment by toby - January 17, 2008 @ 12:33 AM
Hee hee ha ha!!
Comment by imiriel - February 7, 2008 @ 5:43 PM