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Caption Contest 74!!! - Farmer Maggot's Advice

August 29, 2004
Submitted By ElvenArcher

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In the film, we only heard Maggot's voice. In the book "Fellowship of the Ring" we see him, he helps Frodo, and he gives sage advice! (and he shows up in another of Tolkien's written works, as well!).

This illustration shows part of that missing scene from FOTR, and Maggot is... well... he's saying something to Frodo. I'm not sure what. But maybe you are.

Think of a caption for this image, and post it in the "comments" section of THIS page. You can click the thumbnail to see a larger image, but be sure to use your browser's "back" button to return to THIS page before posting your comment. Do not post on the page with the larger image.

Remember, Tolkien Online is a "family friendly" site, so keep all captions CLEAN and "family friendly."

As always, the only prize is "the satisfaction of a job well done."

Last week's winner was Gwendolyn_of_Rohan
with "Yeah...we're fraternal twins...how could you tell?" To see this and other past caption contests, click the "caption contest" link atop this page.

This week's image is by the Brothers Hildebrandt.

This week's winner is Lalaith-Elerrina with:
"Don't tell Mrs. Maggot I told you this, but that funny cap of hers? She wears it to hide her bald spot."

runner up was Iarwain~Ben-adar with:
"Given the choice between getting a whippin' or having a beer with Famer Maggot, Frodo is beginning to suspect he made the wrong choice."

To see other captions, click the "comments" section.


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Reader Comments

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... 32 Comments

  1. "... and the best thing is, they are so well trained they'll just lie there, and seem like your friend, but with one command, they'll jump up and rip your throat out!"

    Comment by Elmtree - August 29, 2004 @ 6:44 AM

  2. Frodo distracts Farmer Maggot, allowing Mrs Maggot to slip the poison in his beer.

    Comment by GotThreeMice - August 29, 2004 @ 6:47 AM

  3. Maggot: My plastic surgeon shrunk my ears in less than forty minutes! It can work for you, too!

    Comment by GotThreeMice - August 29, 2004 @ 6:48 AM

  4. Maggot: dont ya worry, me dog will only attack ya if ya tell it to in elvish. and while your at it keep your bloody eyes off me wife

    Comment by pellenor8989 - August 29, 2004 @ 9:55 AM

  5. Given the choice between getting a whippin' or having a beer with Famer Maggot, Frodo is beginning to suspect he made the wrong choice.

    Maggot: (droning on and on) "...and let me tell you another thing, back in my day we didn't have none of these new fangled tater fryin' pans. Why, we had to hold 'em over a fire with our bare hands! Of course, we were happier than a badger in flower bed just to..."

    Comment by Iarwain~Ben-adar - August 29, 2004 @ 10:07 AM

  6. The sandwich was this long I tell you! This long!

    Maggot: Kids these days! Shaving your legs! What kind of nonsense is that?!

    Comment by Witch-King-of-Angmar - August 29, 2004 @ 12:03 PM

  7. Maggot" Frodo your ears are to big and your nose is to long. You're never gonna get babes that way! That wizard Gandalf might make you more handsome if ya asked."

    Comment by alkin - August 29, 2004 @ 2:31 PM

  8. Don't tell Mrs. Maggot I told you this, but that funny cap of hers? She wears it to hide her bald spot.

    Comment by Lalaith-Elerrina - August 29, 2004 @ 2:44 PM

  9. it wasn't really a mushroom at all--it was a troll's ear. And I'm sure you can imagine why that rascal never had a chance to steal mushrooms again. Let it be a lesson to you."

    Comment by Rana-Minethlos - August 29, 2004 @ 4:19 PM

  10. Mr Maggot: "Sam Adams! Always a good choice!"

    Comment by Shadowfax - August 29, 2004 @ 6:13 PM

  11. "...and I tell you now, if I ever catch that young feller who was stealin' me mushrooms, I'd give him such a beatin'..."

    Comment by Alata*~*DaughterOfEowyn - August 30, 2004 @ 6:21 AM

  12. Farmer Maggot: "...and so, the four mischievous hobbits were never heard from again. But, on still nights just like this one, you can still hear their voices on the wind crying, 'We never should have stolen that carrot!'"

    Comment by Ceyxa - August 30, 2004 @ 8:23 AM

  13. Farmer Maggot: So, you see, t'ain't t' dogs what're the real threat to trespassers. Oh dear me, no. It's Missus Maggot! One look of that dreadful face'd curdle milk, I tell ye!

    Frodo: Um... er, she's behind you!

    *~Pips~*

    Comment by Pippin4242 - August 30, 2004 @ 8:49 AM

  14. ...And beware of that Elfish jewelry. It looks all fine and pretty but no good can come of wearing it,Lad, no good at all.

    Comment by erinhue - August 30, 2004 @ 9:33 AM

  15. Farmer Maggot "Pull my finger, Mr.Baggins..."

    Comment by bird - August 30, 2004 @ 11:26 AM

  16. In order for the dog to know you are in charge, you must bite him on the ear. Go ahead, it tastes like furry chicken.

    Comment by Arwenslove - August 30, 2004 @ 11:56 AM

  17. When I was steeling mushrooms it was not his dogs that scared me it was his very hairy legs.

    Comment by Feiniel - August 30, 2004 @ 12:48 PM

  18. "so frodo, anyone who irritates me, even slightly, gets scewered with that fork that is hanging down infront of your eyes, but do you think thats fair?"

    Comment by Raistlin_warog - August 31, 2004 @ 6:04 AM

  19. "I can't stand Mrs. Maggot's ale--too bitter, too pale and too flabby, just like her.....she's right behind me, isn't she?"

    "Incoming!" Frodo.

    (Note: I had submitted this caption on the page with the larger image. My bad! So I've resubmitted it here.)

    Comment by RosieCotton - August 31, 2004 @ 12:24 PM

  20. ...and then I threw them into this pit that I had dug in the middle of the corn field, out of sight and mind. Here is the good part! Now, my dogs hadn't eaten in a few days and they were really hungry, don't ya know...

    Comment by Hale - August 31, 2004 @ 1:06 PM

  21. Maggot: "And Frodo, beware the Pointy Hat Trick of Gandalf! He's says it's a fun game, but it's nothing like Hopscotch, let me tell you!"

    Comment by Luthienshadows - August 31, 2004 @ 1:12 PM

  22. As frodo is continuing to distract Maggot, Mrs. Maggot is slowly bringing maggot into a drunken stupor, whereafter they will bludgeon him over the head and allow Merry and Pippin to raid Maggots mushroom stock

    Comment by pellenor8989 - August 31, 2004 @ 3:43 PM

  23. heeheeheeh! Farmer Magot
    will never recognize me now! I have red hair
    instead of brown. There is not going to be any beetings tonight! thought frodo to himself as he whipe his freshly picked booger on Fang the dog.

    Comment by IrishDancinHobbit - September 1, 2004 @ 9:51 AM

  24. Farmer Maggot: "Now laddie, look at me while I'm talking to you. Me wife may look charming, but she is more dangerous than me dog Jaws, and will sqeeze the livin' daylight from your throat if you're not careful!"

    Comment by LadyKatherine - September 1, 2004 @ 2:03 PM

  25. Magot... Hey, stop looking at my wife's behind!
    Frodo.... Are you crazy Magot!!!!

    Comment by IrishDancinHobbit - September 2, 2004 @ 9:34 AM

  26. Maggot: So Frodo, you want to marry my dog? Okay, but only if I can plan the wedding!

    Comment by enlome - September 3, 2004 @ 5:31 PM

  27. Frodo and Farmer Maggot's wife exchange worried looks when Maggot asked Frodo if he wanted to go with him and his dog to a dance party.

    Comment by enlome - September 3, 2004 @ 5:38 PM

  28. Farmer Maggot finally told Frodo the truth: Frodo was actually a vertically challenged elf.

    Comment by enlome - September 3, 2004 @ 5:40 PM

  29. "Now Frodo, I think it's about time we had a little talk about the birds and the bees since you're already in your 50's.

    Comment by enlome - September 3, 2004 @ 5:42 PM

  30. Maggot: Now Frodo on journies like this you must remember a few simple rules... One: dont eat the yellow snow... Two: Always pack more underwear than you ever need in your lifetime... Three: Stay away from elven jewelery shops... and always have a buddy.

    Comment by Alphedhel - September 4, 2004 @ 1:36 AM

  31. As Mrs. Maggot pours his beer, from a different pitcher, he wonders. What if he had NOT told them where the gold and jewels were buired. He never should of left Bag-end.

    Comment by Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel - September 5, 2004 @ 1:08 PM

  32. Frodo: (thinking) Ten billion people in this world, and I get stuck with "Smelly the Wonder Farmer."
    Maggot: (thinking) I wonder if I should tell him about that bussiness at Fort Wilderness... Nah, when will he ever need to know how to escape from 10,000 hungry Orcs?
    Dogs: (thinking) Let's go play in traffic.

    Comment by Lady Elwen - March 11, 2007 @ 2:07 PM

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