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Caption Contest 69!!! - The Silmarillion!

June 4, 2004
Submitted By ElvenArcher

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Finduilas to Turin: "If you'd told me earlier that you didn't know how to cook for 5 orcs and a dragon, then we wouldn't be in this mess!"

Boy, talk about having a bad day! This scene is from the Silmarillion, titled: "Finduilas is Led Past Turin at the Sack of Nargothrond"

Sounds like headline news!

Think of a caption for this image, and post it in the "comments" section of THIS page. You can click the thumbnail to see a larger image, but be sure to return to THIS page BEFORE posting your caption. Do NOT post on the page with the larger image.

Remember, Tolkien Online is a "family friendly" site, so keep all captions "clean" and "g-rated."

Last week's winner was "deadmarshes10" with "How many Galadriel's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

To see this and other past caption contests, click the "caption contest" link atop this page.

This week's image is by Ted Nasmith.


This week's winner is: Valandil_Eluchi with

Finduilas to Turin: "If you'd told me earlier that you didn't know how to cook for 5 orcs and a dragon, then we wouldn't be in this mess!"

Runner up was Celtic Fairy with: "Can I have everyone's attention please?! Has everyone gone to the bathroom before we leave? We're not make any stops this time!"

Other top captions:

"How many times do I have to tell you people to turn the oven off before you leave? Read the home safety books dammit!"

"Túrin: "You call that singing? Now try it with a little more enthusiasm! (Singing) Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to work we go..."
"
"Glaurung: "Duck . . . duck . . . duck . . . *chomp*"
"


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Reader Comments

   (Add a Comment)

... 47 Comments

  1. "If my dress was just a little bit more strategically torn, spell of Glaurung or not, he WOULD have noticed me!"

    Comment by Hobbit-lass - June 4, 2004 @ 5:31 PM

  2. Finduilas is thinking: "If I'd know Turin was going to be here, I would've put on some shoes."

    or

    "Turin, I see your Shwartz is as big as mine!"

    Comment by Stupid_Orcs - June 4, 2004 @ 8:05 PM

  3. Alright, give me a slave girl and we call it quits, alright?

    Comment by captainofdespair - June 5, 2004 @ 2:15 AM

  4. Can I have everyone's attention please?! Has everyone gone to the bathroom before we leave? We're not make any stops this time!

    Comment by celticfairy - June 5, 2004 @ 6:18 AM

  5. Just you wait when the Revolution comes, you bloodsuckers...

    Comment by rowanberry - June 5, 2004 @ 8:41 AM

  6. Finduilas thanks the Valar that she'd gotten some fighting lessons from Trinity....

    Comment by Ugluk - June 5, 2004 @ 9:07 AM

  7. psst, don't you think this is a weird way to play follow the leader

    Comment by elrin - June 5, 2004 @ 9:30 AM

  8. Finduilas standing on the walls. Hey dragon thing! watch where you are walking!


    or



    "awwww! why doesn't my sword glow?"

    Comment by Galabrien - June 5, 2004 @ 10:11 AM

  9. please Valar, let my sword be struck by lightning, .. so that i won't have to face the dragon..

    Comment by striderchick - June 5, 2004 @ 7:11 PM

  10. Oooh! Oooh, La La!

    Comment by Khand - June 5, 2004 @ 9:34 PM

  11. Hey! What's going down hot stuff?!

    Comment by Khand - June 6, 2004 @ 11:17 AM

  12. How many times do I have to tell you people to turn the oven off before you leave? Read the home safety books dammit!

    Comment by Warrior_Maiden - June 6, 2004 @ 7:05 PM

  13. Listen mate, there is no "take me instead" Its a simple matter of first and second.

    Comment by captainofdespair - June 7, 2004 @ 7:59 AM

  14. Man in Black- "Pay attention to your lesson."

    Dragon- "Let's see there are seven madens and if I eat 4 that leaves....."

    Comment by Muriel_Sol - June 7, 2004 @ 8:45 AM

  15. Turin pauses as he realizes the orcs are leading away all of his ex-wives.

    or

    Glaurung thinks, "There goes my diet"

    Comment by naurghash - June 7, 2004 @ 9:26 AM

  16. " Turin Turambar turamarth amar ... Now become who you were born to be, OUCH you stupid thing don't poke me whwn I'm trying to say some serious stuff !!!!"

    Comment by Anorelen - June 7, 2004 @ 11:04 AM

  17. There he goes with his "Righteous Fury" speech again.

    Comment by captainofdespair - June 7, 2004 @ 2:44 PM

  18. My name is Anigo Mantoya, you killed my father prepare to die.

    Comment by GoldenWrym - June 7, 2004 @ 3:50 PM

  19. " Halt, thou foul worm! Thou Shalt D..... Is that my sister? SWEEET! Wait, Its not. Drat! Oh Well, As I was Saying...Thou Shalt DIE!


    Or...


    "Mae Govannen, Glaurung!"

    "Why do Guys ALWAYS show off? Personally, I'd be satisfied if he just rescued me! I mean does he REALLY think I'm intrested if he speaks Elvish? If sooo...... "- Voice fades as she notices Legolas behind Turin-" Actully Who cares about Turin? LEGOLAS, Help me,a poor D.i.D.!"{ damsel in distress}


    Comment by Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel - June 7, 2004 @ 5:33 PM

  20. Say raar! That means "I do" and you love me and your my girl.

    Comment by Khand - June 7, 2004 @ 8:10 PM

  21. Túrin: “You call that singing? Now try it with a little more enthusiasm! (Singing) Hi ho! Hi ho! It’s off to work we go…”

    Comment by Iarwain~Ben-adar - June 7, 2004 @ 11:29 PM

  22. Perhaps if I stand very still and pretend to be a black tower, he will leave me be.

    or

    "You call that a motivational speech?!?"

    or

    "I hate playing cops and robbers with Turin, he always takes everything so seriously!"

    Comment by Warrior_Maiden - June 8, 2004 @ 2:24 AM

  23. The real tale of Dragonheart. Virgin sacrifice indeed!

    Comment by captainofdespair - June 8, 2004 @ 3:14 PM

  24. "Honestly, it wouldn't be as bad, but the iron throat chain is SO clashing with the golden belt..."

    Comment by elf_of_doriath - June 8, 2004 @ 4:13 PM

  25. This isn't a caption but his name is Indigo not Anigo.
    Just a heads up. Great caption i love the Princess Bride!

    Comment by lordelrond#1 - June 8, 2004 @ 5:57 PM

  26. Ooh! Look at those thighs!

    Comment by Khand - June 8, 2004 @ 8:53 PM

  27. Hey, uhhh... Tyson, they're uhh.. they're taking your ex-wives, and... maybe your temporary wife.

    Comment by Khand - June 8, 2004 @ 8:55 PM

  28. Turin: "ha HA! Now you all know the wrath of my EZ Bake Oven. All shall love me and dispair!"

    or

    Finduilas: "Note to self, never ask Glaurung to make flambe again."

    or

    Glaurung: "Duck . . . duck . . . duck . . . *chomp*"

    or

    Glaurung: "Next on the runway is Finduilas sporting a Donna Karen dress. Oh isn't she lovely in her chain and collar look? The punk look is new for DK and is very "in" this season. I see that Turin has come to show his support and it looks like he approves. Isn't that sweet?"

    Comment by Stupid_Orcs - June 8, 2004 @ 9:45 PM

  29. Hurin told me not to strike before I can see the white in his eye, but this is getting ridiculous!

    Comment by -Gorthaur- - June 9, 2004 @ 8:44 AM

  30. Third on the left, one cross each. Next!

    Comment by captainofdespair - June 9, 2004 @ 11:04 AM

  31. "NO Turin, no matter what you do, though your nickname Mormegil is pretty cool, even if you threaten me like this, I will NOT go out with you until you take a BATH!!"

    Comment by CuteElvez_Brouncket - June 10, 2004 @ 8:17 AM

  32. Turin uses a lighter for the first time.

    Comment by Khand - June 10, 2004 @ 6:53 PM

  33. this is NOT a caption, but the first of the chained up guys looks like Haleth from the TTT! just thought id lead up...

    Aragorn: I just saved that kid, and now we have a DRAGON!!

    Haleth: I TOLD you that we would not live out the night!

    OR...

    Finduilas " a little bit to the left...noo a little bit the right....LEFT...no.. Right... Oh, Just cut it off!
    NOOO! Not the Dragons Tail!!!!! The HEAD of the orc who's RUINING my $5000 DRESS!:l

    Comment by Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel - June 10, 2004 @ 7:50 PM

  34. Finduilas:
    You Just HAD to sleep with the night light!
    Turin: It was a VERY scarey movie!
    Finduilas:

    Comment by Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel - June 10, 2004 @ 7:54 PM

  35. Finduilas (thinking to herself): And the jerk told me it was my eyes alone that could hypnotize him!

    Comment by truehobbit - June 12, 2004 @ 1:12 PM

  36. (Darn for not being able to edit comments)

    Ok, the above is not really fitting with the context.

    Different version:

    Finduilas: What is it with the guys? If it's tall and fiery and looks them in the eyes, they're gone!

    Comment by truehobbit - June 12, 2004 @ 1:17 PM

  37. Is Finduilas saying to Turin:

    "If you'd told me earlier that you didn't know how to cook for 5 orcs and a dragon, then we wouldn't be in this mess!"

    Comment by Valandil_Eluchi - June 13, 2004 @ 7:38 AM

  38. Fortunately, the animator suddenly died of a heart attack, and the day was saved.

    Comment by captainofdespair - June 14, 2004 @ 7:58 AM

  39. If that orc pokes me one more time I swear by Manwe, They'll have a hellion on their hands!

    Comment by Levanna - June 15, 2004 @ 8:57 AM

  40. Finduilas: Ok, ok you can have my sword but only for the cute blondy one.

    Comment by eressea-isilme - June 15, 2004 @ 7:28 PM

  41. The elves get taken seven by seven, " Hurah, Hurah," The elves get taken seven by seven" Hurah, hurah!" The elves get taken seven by seven, the littlest one she looks up to heaven, and they all get taken down, to the ground....
    Dragon:" Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!"

    Comment by loralie - June 16, 2004 @ 9:51 AM

  42. Maiden 1: Are we there yet?

    Maiden 2: Is my hair messed up?

    Maiden 2: I have to pee.

    Dragon: If you ladies don't stop whining, I'll just turn this line around and march you right back home!

    Comment by Aneilyn - June 16, 2004 @ 12:55 PM


  43. Dragon (to Finduilas)-"Hmm... she looks tasty."
    Finduilas (to Turin)-"Hmm... he looks tasty."

    Comment by Lathawyn - June 16, 2004 @ 2:48 PM


  44. Tempers ran a little high at the 11th Annual Bakeoff when as the cooks began to prepare, the judges realized the Glaurung's entry: "Maidens in Special Sauce" wasn't quite metephorical.

    or:

    Finduilas: I told you so! Red eyes means FIRE-BREATHING!

    Comment by Rushlight - June 17, 2004 @ 3:06 PM

  45. "ok. i smell something burning and believe me it doesn't smell good."




    love G

    Comment by Galabrien - June 20, 2004 @ 1:55 PM

  46. Dragon.... I wonder if Elves taste like chicken?

    Comment by IrishDancinHobbit - September 3, 2004 @ 10:43 PM

  47. Look. I'm sorry, O.K.?! What would you have done if a dragon showed up on your porch threatening to burn you to a crisp if you didn't provide him with a human sacrifice? I caved!!!

    Comment by Arwen_@one_ring - March 12, 2006 @ 1:33 AM

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