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Caption Contest 59!!! - Gandalf! Now that you've helped defeat Sauron...

January 9, 2004
Submitted By ElvenArcher

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Woo hoo! Jon and Ted fixed the Gallery! Now we have the caption contest back! I'm off to put up the winners....-ElvenArcher

After the Balrog incident, Gandalf negotiated with Manwe for better working conditions : he would not come back to Middle Earth before he gets a new robe, a better staff, and receive the assurance that all travel, food and lodging expenses would be refunded upon completion of his task.

Yes, it's finally over. The Ring is destroyed, and the King has returned. Time for Gandalf to sail into the west... but before he does, he pauses for a break and some refreshment.

Think of a humorous caption for this image, and post it in the 'comments' section of this page. Remember, TolkienOnline is a FAMILY FRIENDLY site, so keep all comments CLEAN and G rated.

You can click the thumbnail to see a larger image, but be sure to return to THIS page before posting! Do NOT post the caption on the page with the larger image.

To see last week's contest, and other previous contests, click the "caption contest" link atop this page.

As always, the only prize is "the satisfaction of a job well done!"

(This week's contest is a tribute to the current "sail into the west" theme going on in the "Movies" forum on our bulletin board right now. Check it out!)

This week's winner is Hobbit Lass with: "After the Balrog incident Gandalf negotiated with Manwe for better working conditions : he would not come back to Middle Earth before he gets a new robe, a better staff, and receive the assurance that all travel, food and lodging expenses would be refunded upon completion of his task. "

runners up were:

EnelyaIsilra with:
"Due to a navigation error, Gandalf did not end up in Valianor, but in The Wild, Wild West." 
  
Ral  with: 
"What Gandalf really did after falling through Moria. Traveling through time and space my butt."
  
Elwë_Goldenwing  with: "Unable to play the harp, lyre, or lute like his Elven companions, Gandalf takes a stab at playing the Dwarven jug flute." 

 and

 "What's that? Frodo's destroyed the ring?   Drink up, lads, it's "Miller time"! "

enlome  with: "Today is a proud day for Gandalf. Not only did he help save Middle Earth, but he also is pregnant! "
 and 

 "Now that Middle Earth is safe, Gandalf decided to begin his career as a male model."

 

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Reader Comments

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... 73 Comments

  1. Adjusting to life as a moss gatherer was more difficult than Gandalf anticipated....

    Comment by Elmtree - January 9, 2004 @ 11:11 AM

  2. Honestly, does my bum look big in this?

    Comment by arweneowyn* - January 9, 2004 @ 11:28 AM

  3. Gandalf has a love of the Halfling's leaf. He also loves to sing their songs! "Hey! Ho! To the bottle I go..."

    Comment by Lembas_Junkie - January 9, 2004 @ 12:03 PM

  4. ahhh...if only they had this stuff in Middle-earth, too.

    Comment by lotrobsessed - January 9, 2004 @ 12:05 PM

  5. " There, there Sauron. You can't win all the time... Cheers! "

    Comment by Heroic - January 9, 2004 @ 12:46 PM

  6. This is not water! It is miruvor. See the elven work on the bottle? A gift from Elrond himself.

    Comment by bilbo@luckynumber.com - January 9, 2004 @ 12:47 PM

  7. Introducing Pepsi's new spokesperson. Mr. Gandalf, do you have anything to say?

    "Britney, eat your heart out."

    Comment by Pallas_Athena - January 9, 2004 @ 1:01 PM

  8. Gandalf- "bapa, bapa, ab, the joy of Middle Earth Cola

    Comment by deadmarshes10 - January 9, 2004 @ 1:01 PM

  9. That one Before mine wan't there when I started my comment.... I'm just telling you I didn't coppy you Pallas_Athena

    Comment by deadmarshes10 - January 9, 2004 @ 1:03 PM

  10. WHO WON LAST WEEK'S CAPTION CONTEST????

    Comment by deadmarshes10 - January 9, 2004 @ 1:05 PM

  11. Gandalf:I...can't...'ove...my...'ips! "E're...schuck! Hel!

    *translation: I can't move my lips! They're stuck! Help!*

    Comment by gonturan - January 9, 2004 @ 1:22 PM

  12. Tailor: "Hey, Gandalf, where'd you get the beer?"

    Gandalf chokes: "Uh...uh..."

    Tailer: "Can I have some?"

    Gandalf: "Sure..."

    Tailer: "That's not beer! That's "root beer!"

    Gandalf: "Well....I...tried to warn you.."

    Comment by gonturan - January 9, 2004 @ 1:24 PM

  13. With his sword in one hand and a bottle of cleverly disguised vodka, gandalf was ready for anything...well, an awards ceremony at least.


    And:
    Gandalf missed Aragorn coronation due to a mystery illness, ahem hangover ahem.

    Comment by solith_elf - January 9, 2004 @ 1:32 PM

  14. What are you looking at?

    Comment by Shieldmaiden_pippin - January 9, 2004 @ 1:32 PM

  15. With the threat of being left behind in Middle-earth, Gandalf reluctantly agreed to be in Elrond's Miruvor of Imladris commercial.

    Comment by Ugluk - January 9, 2004 @ 1:43 PM

  16. Gandalf: "What're you lookin' at?"

    ===========================

    Tailorperson: You know, 'Gandalf' if you stopped keeping your soda bottles in the back of your costume, I wouldn't have to fix it all the time.

    ===========================

    Gandalf: I may not be Legolas, but I can still pose like him. What?

    ===========================

    Gandalf: Take my sword? NO! It's mine! My preciousss . . .

    Comment by Nienna__Telrunya - January 9, 2004 @ 3:29 PM

  17. Tailor: It's because you keep drinking those 'low carb diet' drinks that I have to keep adjusting your belt! It's getting shorter every time you start one of those new diet fads!

    Comment by Elf*Moon*Forest - January 9, 2004 @ 3:45 PM

  18. Due to a navigation error, Gandalf did not end up in Valianor, but in The Wild, Wild West.

    Comment by EnelyaIsilra - January 9, 2004 @ 4:03 PM

  19. of the Superbowl, and marvels at his luck at getting a job on the chain crew--apparently, his experience at wielding swords and staffs DID have some practical use!

    Comment by aughra - January 9, 2004 @ 4:53 PM

  20. What Gandalf really did after falling through Moria. Traveling through time and space my butt.

    Comment by Ral - January 9, 2004 @ 5:35 PM

  21. Just a question, why are there no longer winners for the caption contests? The two before this still don't have winners, anyone know why?

    Comment by Ral - January 9, 2004 @ 5:37 PM

  22. Pull yourself together man!

    Comment by Lawrence_Castlebrook - January 9, 2004 @ 8:25 PM

  23. Ral, the reason I'm behind on the winners is ElvenArcher's entire family is down with the flu (from december through now). But there IS a winner posted for contest 57, and I have a few finalists for 58 we're looking at. Sorry for the delay!


    Actually, that picture in this week's contest is me, and I guess you can see through my poor excuses!:-D

    Comment by ElvenArcher - January 9, 2004 @ 8:48 PM

  24. One Cola to rule them all

    Comment by Agamemnon - January 9, 2004 @ 11:20 PM

  25. tailor: gandalf, it appears that the discomfort you are having in this costume is not because you are getting fatter
    gandalf: oh yes and what is it then fool of a tailor!
    tailor: well, you seem to have taken a sword straight through you and the gin and tonic is coming straight out of your back.
    gandalf: ah!! only a slight setback!!
    then he passes out on the floor

    Comment by theor - January 10, 2004 @ 8:35 AM

  26. With the bottle lodged to keep the general shape of the mouth, this is for those of you that have seen the very end of "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert".

    This is the Inflatable Gandalf.

    Comment by Janu - January 10, 2004 @ 9:00 AM

  27. Unable to play the harp, lyre, or lute like his Elven companions, Gandalf takes a stab at playing the Dwarven jug flute.

    Comment by Elwë_Goldenwing - January 10, 2004 @ 9:31 AM

  28. "Mind yer own business! (hic)... Whadda you know?!... Gimme my staff... I`m goin home... home and (hic) you`re damn right - get that thing outta my face... remember your own lines!..."

    (etc.)

    Comment by Warlok - January 10, 2004 @ 1:17 PM

  29. Gandalf was mildly surprised upon being told that he was in the middle of a game of Wizard's Chess.

    Comment by smeaglesprecious - January 10, 2004 @ 4:19 PM

  30. my bra's kinda snapping...please fix it while i take some advil for my menstrual cramps.

    Comment by 4Ever4Frodo - January 10, 2004 @ 5:49 PM

  31. Gandalf really ought to consider limiting the amount of time he spends with Paris Hilton....

    Comment by LadyMelia - January 10, 2004 @ 6:44 PM

  32. Ahhhhh. Hey, after saving Middle Earth I deserve a cold one dont I?

    Comment by GimliGuy - January 10, 2004 @ 7:24 PM

  33. Realizing that though being a wizard was rewarding, it didn't pay enough to cover his tailoring bill, Gandalf decides to be the spokesman for Fangorn Forest Root Beer: The kick that can kick you.

    Comment by Moriquendi13 - January 10, 2004 @ 10:57 PM

  34. three bottles of Gimli's myseterious drink later, Gandalf had found himself in the middle of battle with his mock staff rather than the glowy one. Whoops.

    Comment by solith_elf - January 11, 2004 @ 7:52 AM

  35. After a few drinks, Gandalf reflected that yes, in fact his robes were a bit on the smelly side.

    Comment by solith_elf - January 11, 2004 @ 7:53 AM

  36. Having plied the new most powerful old wizard in Middle earth with alcohol, the tailor was able to make adjustments for the ever increasing waistline without him suspecting a thing....

    Comment by solith_elf - January 11, 2004 @ 7:54 AM

  37. Gandalf: wow, i thought hobbits were bad......

    Comment by Frodolives123 - January 11, 2004 @ 8:12 AM

  38. Tailor: Gah, stand still Gandalf, I have to tighten your corset, your beer gut is showing again
    Gandalf sighs and drinks some more water

    Comment by Fastitocalon - January 11, 2004 @ 11:02 AM

  39. Drink up, lads, it's "Miller time"!

    Comment by Elwë_Goldenwing - January 11, 2004 @ 11:52 AM

  40. Gandalf applies a bit of industrial strength lip balm after being subjected to bitter winds at the Morannon

    Comment by Elwë_Goldenwing - January 11, 2004 @ 11:58 AM

  41. Tailor: Ian....arn't you supposed to be laying off the beer for a while?

    Ian: Ummm.....well....

    Tailor: Now, hand it over.....before I call Mr.Jackson....

    Ian: No...NEVER!I have a sword -LOOK!

    Tailor: Give me the sword,Ian.....and we'll forget all about this...

    Ian: No..you can't break my will to live! I am a man! Let me live my life! PLEASE!!!!

    Tailor: I will cut off your fake beard!

    Ian: No...not the beard...anything but the beard!

    Tailor: That's it sit down....now hand over the beer and the sword over to this nice security man, and let's go and visit that nice nurse over there...

    Ian: Oh ok! I like that nurse...she always giveas me lolly pops when I've been good!

    Tailor: yes....

    Comment by Chessy - January 11, 2004 @ 12:47 PM

  42. Having finished LOTR, Sir Ian decided to audition for Snow White and the 7 dwarves, the Peter Jackson version.

    Comment by solith_elf - January 11, 2004 @ 1:57 PM

  43. "If it wasnt for those pesky kids I'd have gotten away with it!"

    Scooby and the gang had discovered that the "ghost" haunting PJ demanding more money, was in actual fact Gandalf in a rubbish mask.

    Comment by solith_elf - January 11, 2004 @ 1:59 PM

  44. "Shower of course! What do you think I am? Gimli or something?"


    "There is only one thing I can do... I lost the Oscar... sometimes I think I feel it on my mantleplace... the though consumes me... the burden feels so heavy... I find myself drinking more to forget about it..."

    Comment by Wandering but not lost - January 11, 2004 @ 7:42 PM

  45. ...Gandalf negociated with Manwe for better working conditions : he would not come back to Middle Earth before he gets a new robe, a better staff, and receive the assurance that all travel, food and lodging expenses would be refunded upon completion of his task.

    Comment by Hobbit-lass - January 11, 2004 @ 9:22 PM

  46. After Gandalf finishes the take he askes PJ
    "Exactly what scene was this for anyway?"

    Comment by Elrohiril - January 11, 2004 @ 9:48 PM

  47. The Middle-Earth Inquirer
    Inside this weeks issues:
    Gandalf puts on the pounds!
    See how the White Wizard balloned to Balrog size and why he's blaming the beverage industry.
    Also inside:
    "I AM NOT GAY!" Sam finally speaks
    Gimli's emotional journey
    The pro's and con's of Longbottom Leaf

    Comment by phantomtraveler - January 12, 2004 @ 8:46 AM

  48. "Oh sorry Elijah, they don't have water in your scenes. You're in Mordor, remember? There is no water in Hell! Can you have some? NO!!! It's my water! I work hard on my scenes to get what I want! Go eat some llembas bread or something..."

    ha ha, Sam "ate" all the llembas bread....

    Comment by Elven_Defender - January 12, 2004 @ 11:02 AM

  49. Gandalf ponders on the incantation which will open his drink's bottle.
    'Now what was the word for 'twist cap' in Quenya?'

    Comment by Veon - January 12, 2004 @ 11:23 AM

  50. After the battle Gandalf decided horns would look good on him too

    Comment by Fastitocalon - January 12, 2004 @ 2:04 PM

  51. Ian; "Yes, yes, I know my face is dirty, but I'm not allowed to wash it. I have to free-fall four miles fighting the Balrog. Get off my back!"

    Comment by faramiriscool - January 13, 2004 @ 2:34 AM

  52. Well you see, the Presbyterian church allows gay priests!
    (See cross in the background)

    Comment by faramiriscool - January 13, 2004 @ 2:35 AM

  53. It's only washer, I mean water . . .Ishs only . . wate . . .water . . Tis indeed, o'ly wash . .I mean washer . . .shh. . .truly . . .hic. . .

    Comment by faramiriscool - January 13, 2004 @ 2:37 AM

  54. Tairlor: look at all these empty bottles!

    Gandalf:
    Three for the eleven kings under the sky!!
    HIC!!
    Seven for the dwarf-lords in thier halls of stone!!
    HIC!!
    nine for the mortal men doomed to die!!
    HIC!!
    One for the dark lord on his dark throne!!!
    HIC!!
    And one for the road hay lass!!

    Tailor: Honstley gandalf ull drink to anything

    Comment by brad_morson - January 13, 2004 @ 4:57 AM

  55. Hey! I thought I said no cameras in here!

    Comment by LilyfromBree - January 13, 2004 @ 11:47 AM

  56. After having defeated Sauron, Galdalf resigned himself to a more relaxing line of work of doing Miruvor commercials.

    Comment by Elwin_Halfelven - January 13, 2004 @ 6:01 PM

  57. Gandalf had managed to hide his joined at the hip twin brother for a while, but we readers, we managed to capture it on camera! Wahay for the papparazzi!

    Comment by solith_elf - January 14, 2004 @ 4:10 AM

  58. "Buuuuurrrrp! Lets hear it for Pepsi! hic "

    Comment by *lilprincessMee - January 14, 2004 @ 2:17 PM

  59. Gandalf: "After a hard days battle all you need is...SPRING WATER,*lifts up bottle and smiles in exaggeration*, brought to you by spring New Zealand empire"

    Gandalf thinks they've finished filming the add

    Gandalf as Sir Ian: "Get me a cola will you Bob this Spring water tastes like dirt", reads the lable shakeing his head.

    Comment by Legolases_eyes - January 14, 2004 @ 11:38 PM

  60. Gandalf; "Do they have Miruvor in Valinor? Hmm. Just in case . . . gulp . . gulp . . ."

    Comment by faramiriscool - January 15, 2004 @ 1:26 AM

  61. After a long, hard day battling evil fire demons, why not relax and drink a bottle of cool, refreshing MIRUVOR! *Winks to camera*

    Comment by Pippin4242 - January 15, 2004 @ 7:27 AM

  62. :-)

    Comment by AnxiousChieftain - January 15, 2004 @ 5:30 PM

  63. Gandalf starts to feel lucky when a elf lady stranger begins to undress him.

    Comment by enlome - January 16, 2004 @ 11:45 PM

  64. In a desperate act, Gandalf magically changed his staff into soda to end the dryness of his throat.

    Comment by enlome - January 16, 2004 @ 11:46 PM


  65. Gandalf put on a few pounds after he found out that he would be sailing the seas with two hobbits.

    Comment by enlome - January 16, 2004 @ 11:48 PM

  66. Today is a proud day for Gandalf. Not only did he help save Middle Earth, but he also is pregnant!

    Comment by enlome - January 16, 2004 @ 11:50 PM

  67. Now that Middle Earth is safe, Gandalf decided to begin his career as a male model.

    Comment by enlome - January 17, 2004 @ 4:54 PM

  68. For the last time I will NOT perform at your daughters birthday party!

    Comment by lordelrond#1 - January 18, 2004 @ 10:58 AM

  69. Gandalf: hey, is that a monkey on your head?

    Comment by Frodolives123 - January 22, 2004 @ 2:29 PM

  70. Narrator- As you can see, Wizards are like boy scouts-They always come prepared!

    Comment by deadmarshes10 - January 25, 2004 @ 8:20 AM

  71. After a few, even the elf with the Buddy Holly glasses starts to look good.

    Comment by naurghash - January 29, 2004 @ 3:37 AM


  72. After the ring was distroyed, Gandalf returns to Rivendell's staff room.

    Gandalf thinks: I haven't had a cola in so long. It's nice to get rid of that annoying caffeen headache that started in Moria.

    Comment by Alphedhel - February 4, 2004 @ 7:49 AM

  73. Gandalf had a grand new idea: The Pink Rider! They would never see THAT one coming...

    Comment by Almond Puff - March 11, 2007 @ 7:59 PM

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